art and Behavioral therapy
Mental Health = Mental Wealth
Mental health is important for everyone. I'm not ashamed in sharing my experience as I reached out for help in dealing with depression, anxiety, and anger. Behavioral therapy is an invaluable service for anyone having thoughts of suicide, failure, worthlessness, trouble with alcohol and drug abuse, or anger in wanting to hurt someone. If you're having these issues, I encourage you to get help as soon as you can. Contact your family doctor and use your health plan.
Mental health therapy is not like going to a hospital and sticking you in a padded room with a doctor, or placing you on an operating table and transplanting your brain. You've been watching too many horror movies. It's simply expanding your knowledge base with education. I look at it like going to school and taking classes. Group discussion is like taking a class and a therapist is like your personal tutor. When I learn something new, I'm depositing wealth into my mental health bank account. A deposit is well worth the effort.
I came to Hawaii to save my mental health. To find a new beginning and direction. Depression was killing me back home and the only thing saving me was the mood-altering drugs prescribed to me. I knew I couldn't do this forever, I needed to get out of this rut or die. I escaped to Hawaii to find Aloha.
On the mainland, I was going through therapy in group meetings learning meditation techniques, and participating in discussion groups to talk about feelings and our state of mind. I didn't get anything out of it and eventually was getting more depressed. I had to find another approach or end up doing something really stupid.
The one thing that came out of my therapy is that I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder called agoraphobia. That's where one feels uncomfortable in large crowds in an enclosed area. Like being in a fishbowl and all eyes are looking at you. Panic attacks and uncontrollable sweating were indicators that lead to the diagnosis. It was obvious I was suffering and the symptoms came about progressively from being depressed over the years.
Agoraphobia
I once had really good confidence in my younger years. Going to college I took a lot of communications classes including the mandatory Public Speaking 1 class that I enjoyed tremendously. That was the class I learned how to break the ice so to speak when giving a speech in front of the class. The more I delivered a speech every week the more confidence grew and I had no problem speaking in front of large crowds.
Then I got divorced and things changed. The experience took me by surprise and was traumatic for me. I was emotionally devastated. When I lost my wife and kids, I felt like I lost everything. I was in denial, I didn't care anymore and let everything go. Spiritually demoralized I contemplated suicide and turned to alcohol. My mind was in another space engulfed in pain. Day after day, months turning into years, jumping from job to job barely making a living. My confidence was shattered and I was on a path of self-destruction.
As years went by my focus began to wane. I became paranoid if anybody noticed my pain while trying to maintain composure while functioning at work. My insecurity increased as I had no one to turn to except myself. Years of living this way cultivated social anxiety which led to the symptoms of Agoraphobia. Felt like a thousand eyes looking at me in a cold sweat. I had to find another way or die.
Spiritual Thunder - The internal power of "KI"
Spiritually remiss I was the walking wounded with an emotional disability. I needed to find something to lift my spirits and live again. Then I remembered my martial art training and the power of the KI. The internal power within gives you strength in mind, body, and spirit. In Polynesian culture, the KI is your Mana. This internal power helped me to condition my body physically, now I have to call upon this power to condition and strengthen my spiritual and mental martial arts bodies. The martial arts trained me to face my fears and weaknesses head-on and "Ki-Yaii it out of my system. The visualization of taking my troubles and breaking them like a block of bricks, helped me to remember my self-esteem and refocus my sense of direction. I got into the gym and started working out and continued to train. I trained so much I hurt my back again and had to withdraw my efforts cause the back problem became a lifelong disability.
Regardless of my decline from the gym, the point is that I was able to draw upon an internal power, a spiritual thunder from within, and reestablish my self-esteem to live again. Although I may have lost the physical conditioning from training, the spiritual and mental training took over, and became stronger. I even went back to school and finished my undergrad degree.
I still have agoraphobia symptoms but have learned coping skills to deal with it. The more I learn the better I get and increase my mental wealth.
Transform Anger into Mana
Mana is the spiritual life force energy within you. Your internal power is one with the universe. It is nurturing spiritual energy within you that can transform into courage, confidence, and power if used wisely.
Your anger can become your mana for good or for bad, the choice is yours. Use it with Aloha or use it with hate. Your mana is more powerful and wise when mated with Aloha. Mana with hate will only lead to destruction. In the height of anger, the thin line between good and bad can be determined in a split second. Condition your mana with patience, perseverance, and compassion with Aloha, and your mana will become your wise mind.
Tools in a Toolbox
It wasn't until I came to Hawaii and sought treatment at Kaiser Permanente for depression that I was offered to join a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) discussion group at Queens Medical. Their approach at Queens was much better than the therapy I was getting on the mainland. They taught different skills in interactive virtual classes throughout the week. I often coined the phrase "Learning more tools to put in my toolbox". This thought visualized the idea of gathering the right coping tools you've learned to deal with any situation that develops. I learned more here in 3 months than all the other treatments received anywhere else. I was truly fortunate to take part in this group.
Developing the 3rd Eye
Your focus lens is your intuitive 3rd eye. The therapy tools you have accumulated are there to help you adjust your focus. The key is to adjust the lens with the right tool to match the situation. The more tools you have in your toolbox, the better you can fine-tune your lens.
Your 3rd eye is a behavioral mechanism adjuster and like any mechanism, periodic maintenance is required. Now and then you need to give yourself a tune-up. You can use the tools you have and re-educate yourself or you can request an upgrade with something and turbo-charge your wellbeing. Find a mindfulness meditation class, and read up on the latest health and well-being trends. Go back and visit your therapist. The point is to continue to gain more knowledge to expand your horizons and never stop learning. Get yourself turbo-charged. Your third eye will help you to enhance your critical thinking.
Critical Thinking Technique
Think objectively, there are always two sides to a story. Evaluate both sides with your ethics and principal beliefs whatever they may be. It's the literary art of contrast and comparison you learned in an English composition class. For example,
here's the premise: "The concepts from Jesus Christ and the Prophet Muhammad have the ability to save the world"
Presumptive reasoning: "The inception of religion has the capability of destroying it."
My conclusion in alignment with my principles and ethics is: "Therefore my spiritual belief will be kindness and Aloha."
Dare to be objective to arrive at your conclusions. Question authority. Think outside of the box. Find conclusive answers that align with what makes you happy. For me, I have arrived that the concept of Aloha encompasses all that Jesus Christ and the profit Muhammad have been teaching. Therefore my spirituality is in the all-inclusive purpose of Aloha.
The Aloha Tool
Finding the Aloha experience and inserting the spirit of Aloha. There are so many ways to describe Aloha for so many reasons, that's the essential benefit of Aloha. For all intended purposes I will describe Aloha as a behavioral power tool. Aloha is constructed with the enduring attention of mindfulness and powered by the infinite energy of love. In the arsenal of behavioral weapons in your toolbox, Aloha is the most powerful.
The Aloha tool encompasses all that is love, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness, within the focal structure of mindfulness. Always be mindful of Aloha in any behavioral circumstance. When in need of direction let Aloha be your guide. When faith diminishes let Aloha enter your will to endure. When facing overwhelming sorrow let Aloha shield your heart from pain. Practice by being in a mindful state of Aloha in any condition you are in and the power of love will enter your soul and improve your life.
This is the powerful gift given to us by the indigenous Hawaiian culture. Aloha is in the heart; it will always be there when you need it. My religion is the holy spirit of Aloha.
Out of Body Tool. What does the emotion look like on you?
The out-of-body tool is simply to help you visualize what you would look like to be happy, sad, angry, or whatever mood and emotion you may be feeling. Two ways to observe the out-of-body tool is to visualize what you look like being happy and how to get back to that point. To use it as a goal to reach for. The second way is to define the opposite action of the feeling you're experiencing to counter the mood you're in. If you are sad how to find happiness, if you feel shame, recognize the opposite action as compassion and pride in yourself and help you get back to feeling better about yourself.
Of course, a lot of other tools would be used in the process of finding a solution but the out-of-body tool will help you to visualize what you need to reach for and help you in choosing the other tools you need on the way there. Tools like fact-finding, recognizing negative back talk, radical acceptance, and so on.
The out-of-body toolsets your 3rd eye focal lens in the right direction to achieve your goal.
Happiness Metering Tool
How much do you give and take in any situation and relationship? To answer that you need to know to what extent will you give and take on your happiness. To do so you need to gauge and recalibrate your happiness accordingly to fit the situation. You need to create a happiness measurement tool to gauge your feelings.
To POWER on the happiness meter is to recognize a situation or relationship that needs intuitive clarity to make a decision. The meter can help you decide, yes or no, depending on how happy you feel about the outcome. Here you may use your intuitive 3rd eye and out-of-body tool to visualize a happy outcome or to what level you can tolerate giving in so much.
You may use the RESET button often in trying different approaches to sharpen your intuition.
Use the ADJUSTMENT knob to set to the right measurement that you'll be happy with or to what level you can compromise in making a decision.
Using the technique of the happiness meter will help you CALIBRATE your mindset to make better, wise-mind, decisions in future outcomes.
Write and Paint About
I realize I'm fortunate with the ability to write and paint about my experience. It's an added extra benefit as I'm going through behavioral therapy. Writing while absorbing what I have learned, then applying it in my unique way, is a technique I'm finding to be very helpful in caring for my mental well-being.
As I'm writing and painting I'm also documenting what's being learned for future reference. Something that I've been accustomed to while working in the high-tech industry. Documenting is a fundamental tool in research and development (R&D). The painting reminds me of drafting engineering drawings. In drafting, you are drawing information for the viewer to relate to and understand the fit, form, and function of the project. In painting, I'm capturing feelings, mood, and provoking thoughts. Both drawing and painting serve the purpose of reference to go back and reflect upon. The engineering drawing supports the engineering effort in developing products. The painting aids in capturing moods and feelings as the painter paints the subject matter. The painter has a better concentration in capturing emotions involved while painting which in turn gives the painter a more in-depth understanding of the moods and feelings to be captured. This is the benefit of being an artist while in therapy.
therapy ART
Behavioral Therapy Art
Why not capture art as a behavioral therapy tool to aid in improving mental health? I believe art can be invaluable in learning new skills to improve one's mental wellness. I'm going on a journey to explore art as I'm learning skills from professional therapists. My goal is to connect art to behavioral therapy and find the benefits that art can contribute to one's journey through the therapy process.
Art can capture your frame of mind. You can use art to express your feelings. Good or bad those feelings are documented for you to go back and remember how you felt at that time, how you dealt with it, and compare it to how you feel now. Creating art to capture feelings helps in identifying the issues you have with those feelings and to get a better understanding of why you feel that way. This will help in developing coping strategies by modifying the behaviors associated with the feeling.
It's one thing viewing art that captures a feeling but it's totally another thing to feel the behavior through painting or drawing. Experiencing the behavior as you paint. I found this to be very helpful as I am going through cognitive behavioral therapy and learning new skills to cope with depression, anger, and anxiety. I can recognize and relate to the feelings of the painting or drawing I created. This gives me more depth in understanding the behavior as I'm developing coping strategies. The premise is that you spend more time creating and thinking about and understanding the feeling as you paint through it, instead of just reading or saying the feeling out loud.
Creating art to emulate behavioral therapy can be challenging and yet useful in capturing the feelings of behaviors as someone deals with his/her mental health.
Creating art to conjure up an imaginary environment of moods, emotions, and feelings that capture certain behaviors is, in my opinion, the ultimate goal of expression in therapy art.
Floating in a peaceful ocean conjures up feelings of calm and relaxation to soothe the mind in a meditative state. Two friends on a beach singing and playing ukulele conjures up feelings of happiness, love, and fun. A girl sitting cuddled over with eyebrows pointing up, isolating herself in the back instead of on the main beach conjures up feelings of insecurity, and self-consciousness, probably worried about the bikini she's wearing exposing too much. These images are art that expresses behaviors.
Sensations of Sexual Art
I believe this section is important in the behavioral arts. The enticement of feelings as you are drawing or painting is apparent when creating art of a sexual nature. The aim here is to be aware of how these feelings are amplified. I'm not saying to visualize masturbating while you are drawing, or drawing and jerking off at the same time, LOL, I'm saying that you can get a feeling of the art in the process of drawing and painting a sexual fantasy, try it.
Remembering those sensations as they are amplified can help you to be more mindfully focused on any art that you may be creating. Treat your art as an object of love, and express Aloha not just in your art, but in everything you do. Imagine the sensation of kissing and apply that sensation to amplify your life. That's the gift of love. That's being in Aloha.
To be continued...
Mental wealth
Mental Wealth
How do you create mental wealth? Mental wealth is created by accomplishments you've made that you can be proud of. Taking yourself to your limits and breaking through. Never quit growing your knowledge base and learning to do things most people can't.
The opposite is mental bankruptcy. Someone who has lived a lie all his/her life, putting on a show to cover up the ignorance of their most secret insecurities instead of facing the truth. Lying to the world, not mentally able to accomplish anything of value, and realizing when they've reached that certain age and face reality, they're mentally bankrupt.
Sounds like I'm venting, well I am, I've had enough of fake people.
Like Elenore Roosevelt once said,
"Great minds discuss ideas."
"Average minds discuss events."
"Small minds discuss people."
To Die a Brilliant Death
How do you want to be remembered after you die? I often ask myself that being under the circumstances I'm in and the cards I've been dealt in life, I say my legacy needs a lot of work. I'm not satisfied with the outcome to this point and I need to reach higher heights before I feel comfortable with who I am.
I want to be remembered as a role model, an inspiration to those without hope, I want people to speak of me with fond memories. I want to be remembered as a hero with honor and respect. I want to save the world from its destruction. I want to inspire higher learning and help those find a new way of thinking that will benefit the world in peace and prosperity.
With all that said it looks like I have a lot of work to do before I check out of this life. There's a lot of life I still need to achieve. The bottom line is to die being content and only then will I be happy. I want to die a happy death.
So the emphasis is on how do you want to die. Do you want to die happy and content? If so, then how you live will determine that outcome. If the feeling of being unaccomplished dies with you then your restless spirit will haunt you until you make things right before you enter the next world. So get busy dying, or get busy living, or get busy haunting. Either way, your destiny is in your hands. Make it count, die a brilliant death.
Spirituality and Cremation
Where does the spirit go after it leaves the materialistic body? I often contemplate that. I pretty much have decided to have my body cremated and my ashes spread out into the ocean. Why?, you may ask, it's because I have these thoughts of spreading my spiritual self as far around the world as I can. For my body to encompass the world so my spirit is spread everywhere and touches all corners of mother Earth. The ocean is the biggest thing I know of that you can expand upon.
If you bury your body in a grave six feet under then you are limiting your spirituality to that confined area. always going back to be checked upon when someone comes and visits you. If you are one with the ocean then you are everywhere and if someone wants to visit me I will tell them just go to the ocean and I'll be there listening.